Resilience & Perseverance: How to develop these essential skills in times of change

Struggling with change?

Struggling with change? Success hinges on your ability to bounce back. Learn how to build resilience and perseverance so you can navigate uncertainty and setbacks. 

Change is inevitable. It’s also scary. And if there are two sidekicks you’re going to need to navigate it, it’s resilience and perseverance. 

Whether you’re leaving behind an unfulfilling corporate career, untangling yourself from systems that no longer serve you, or transitioning into entrepreneurship, resilience and perseverance will be your strongest allies. 

(I know from experience that they’re the difference between feeling crushed under the weight of change and feeling empowered by it.) 

Cultivate these two and you can adapt to uncertainty, bounce back from adversity, and ultimately find a purpose-driven career or business that aligns with your values. 

I won’t bullsh*t you. Resilience and perseverance aren’t a given; they are skills you need to consciously develop. 

So, let’s look at exactly how to do that, shall we? 

Navigating change alone is tough.

Let’s work through it together

Understanding resilience and perseverance 

First up, let’s do a deep dive on what resilience and perseverance actually are. 

What is resilience? 

Think of resilience as your ability to bounce back from setbacks and failure. 

It’s about finding an inner strength and resolve when things go wrong and learning to adapt to challenges, even when they feel impossible. 

Developing resilience means that, in time, the stuff that once bugged you no longer feels like such a big deal. 

What is perseverance? 

Put simply, perseverance is your ability to keep on keeping on when times are tough. It’s a stamina to keep working towards your goals, despite the many obstacles. 

It differs from motivation, which can fluctuate. Instead, perseverance is refusing to quit, no matter what challenges are thrown your way. 

Embracing the NEW!

Perseverance is your ability to keep on keeping on when times are tough. It’s a stamina to keep working towards your goals, despite the many obstacles. 

What resilience and perseverance aren’t…

If there’s one thing that really p**ses me off, it’s how resilience and perseverance are terms that have been hijacked by corporates who use them for their benefit. 

In corporate environments, you’re often expected to bounce back quickly in systems that expect too much of you. 

This blog post isn’t about pushing yourself to the brink or ‘developing a thicker skin’ for someone else’s gain. 

No, this is where you’ll learn how to use resilience and perseverance as YOUR personal resource so that you can adapt and recover during times of setback and change. 
It’s about making these skills your closest allies, so you can keep pushing towards your goals, EVEN when the going gets tough. 

Why resilience and perseverance are crucial in times of change

Not everyone is going to tell you this but when you’re going through a big life change, failure is going to become your most frequent visitor. 

You will fail more than you’ll triumph. Following a new path will require so much from you - shedding old identities, confronting your fears, and embracing new ways of thinking.

The transition can feel isolating, uncertain, and overwhelming and without our friends resilience and perseverance it will be easy to retreat back to your comfort zone. 

You’ll face many knocks, but if you slowly build resilience and perseverance you will… 

1. Feel less threatened and intimidated by the unknown 

2. Adapt to changes more quickly 

3. Recover from setbacks - and even feel motivated by them 

4. Make sustainable progress towards your goals

    
   Need clarity on your next steps? Start here

How to develop resilience and perseverance 

1. Reframe failure - it says nothing about your worth! 

Have you ever wondered why failure really stings? It’s because too often we see it as a sign of our self-worth. 

We internalise failure and failing quickly becomes ‘I AM a failure’. 

What if you simply saw failure as part of the journey? After all, nobody has achieved anything great without encountering their fair share of it. 

Reflect on a recent setback you experienced. When you look at it objectively, can you see how it’s not a reflection of who you are or what you’re capable of? 

2. Watch your language 

The language we use shapes how we think and feel about challenges and setbacks. Be mindful about how you describe the obstacles you’re facing. 

“This is impossible” and “I can’t do it” are disempowering phrases that lead to helplessness. Try replacing them with “This is difficult, but I will find a way” and “I can’t do this yet, but I’ll figure it out.” 

This way you’re focusing on growth, not defeat. 

3.Focus on the bigger picture 

A major part of developing resilience and perseverance is remembering why you started. 

When things get tough, it’s easy to get bogged down in the details and lose sight of your goals. 

Now is the time to visualise the end goal. Get hungry for it because when you know who you are and what you want from life, you’re more likely to keep pushing for it, no matter the setbacks. 

4. See challenges as learning opportunities 

I’ll be totally honest with you. There are times in my life when I’ve failed and if someone had told me to ‘see it as a learning opportunity’ I might have wanted to punch them in the face. (Or at the very least, send them a strongly worded email.) 

But after experiencing my fair share of setbacks, I know that the ability to find a lesson in a challenge is the difference between sink or swim. 

If you can find any lesson, no matter how small, in whatever it is you’re dealing with, you can find the determination to keep going. It’s no longer a defeat, but part of the learning process. 

Instead of asking ‘Why is this happening to me?’, try asking, ‘What is this teaching me?’. 

5.Be ready to pivot 

I’m pretty sure you don’t need me to tell you this, but life rarely goes to plan, no matter how well you plan for it. 

And that’s why flexibility and adaptability are key when it comes to developing resilience and perseverance. 

I don’t know about you, but I find great relief in acknowledging that things can and - let’s be honest here - will go wrong. 

When the plan changes (and trust me, it will) it’s okay to feel frustrated and to vent, but try not to get stuck there. 

Take a beat, and assess the detour. (Is it really as bad as you think it is?) 

Sometimes the best way forward isn’t the one you envisaged, so be open to other paths. 

6.Practice emotional regulation 

Nobody would blame you for throwing a bit of a tantrum when your best-laid plans go to sh*t. When setbacks happen, it’s easy (and dare I say, normal?) to get swept away by our emotions. 

Resilience and perseverance aren’t about suppressing your emotions, but about learning how to manage your emotions so they don’t manage you. 

What does that look like? 

When the sh*t hits the proverbial fan, it’s recognising your feelings, giving yourself space to process them, and choosing how you respond. 

I know what you’re thinking: Easy in theory, not so easy in practice, right? 

One simple practice that makes it easier is deep breathing. Take a moment (or however long you need) to breathe deeply, centre yourself, and assess the situation.

A final thought on resilience and perseverance 

Success isn’t a straight line, and whatever change you’re navigating right now, it can be helpful to remember that. 

You’re going to encounter lots of twists and turns, and when it feels like all is lost, it’s resilience and perseverance that will help you bounce back and keep moving forward. 

We can never fully protect ourselves from life’s curveballs, but if we develop resilience and perseverance, we can embrace the wobbly nature of change and keep going. 

I see all of you!

I believe in you, even when you doubt yourself and feel you have run out of resilience and perseverance!

Struggling with change? Let’s work through it together

P.S. listen to my Podcast episode - Career Change at 40 - is it to late? Spoiler No, its Your time

Career change at 40: Your 7-step roadmap to a job you love

You’re not too old!

Follow these 7 steps to make a successful career change at 40 and build a purposeful career that aligns with your values and goals.

There’s no doubt about it: Making a career change at 40 can be daunting. 

But as an executive systemic coach who’s been helping people of all ages transition out of draining jobs and into meaningful work, I know you have an ache in your heart for change. 

Because like you, I’ve felt that pull to do something different. 

When I walked away from a successful corporate career I worried that stepping out of the familiar meant stepping into failure. 

So all that indecision, doubt, and desire for change you’re going through right now? I get it

(I’ll spare you all the nitty-gritty details of my story, but suffice to say, I’ve had a successful career change and I’m happier than ever.)

Take back control! It’s time to get clarity on your next steps 

In this blog, I’m going to share 7 expert tips to help you navigate your career change at 40 with clarity and confidence, whether you’re seeking a new job or pursuing solopreneurship.

These are the tips and positive reframes I needed during my career pivot and they’re the ones I share with my clients today.

First things first…

Why have a career change at 40?: 

You might have noticed that a career change at 40 is pretty common. 

A 2023 study by the Learning & Work Institute found that 12% of employees aged 40–44 sought a career change. 

So if you have that niggling feeling in your gut that you’re destined for something more, you’re certainly not alone! 

Here are some of the most common reasons people decide to make a career change at 40…

I’ll bet some of them resonate… 

• Desire for more meaningful work 

I can relate to this one, that’s for sure! 
Reaching your 40s often feels like a wake-up call. The grind starts to feel, well, like a grind, and you tire of going through the motions. 

For me, it was a nagging feeling that there was more I could be doing to support people. I knew I had skills that weren’t being used and it was time to find something that truly aligned with my values. 

• Stress and burnout 

Familiar with these two? You’re not alone! 

By the time you get to 40, you’re probably sick of the bullsh*t… the cycles of burnout, the endless stress, and the never-ending deadlines and to-do lists. 

Many of us are part of systems that aren’t serving us and that we never asked to be a part of in the first place.

With all that stress on our shoulders, it’s little wonder you’re considering a career change at 40. 

• The pursuit of work-life balance 

Ah, the elusive work-life balance. 

By your 40s, you’ve probably realised that work isn’t everything, and spending time on what truly matters is. 

Career changes at this stage often revolve around creating that balance and seeking out roles that offer flexibility and less stress. They’re a result of wanting to make your well-being a priority, and you know what I say? More power to you! 

• Mid-life changes 

Your 40s are a funny old decade and they can herald lots of changes (welcome and unwelcome), like divorce, grief, family health issues, hormonal changes and parenthood.  This upheaval can cause many of us to reevaluate our careers too. And that’s no bad thing! 

A study published in the International Journal of Aging and Human Development found that later-life career changes can lead to improved emotional well-being.

Basically? Feeling good in your career could help you navigate all those other changes that are common in your 40s. 

A win-win! 

• Financial considerations 

Look, there’s no point sugarcoating it. A big reason people seek a career change at 40 is to make more money! (is it just me, or has life gotten mighty expensive recently?) 

Changing careers can bump your earnings by 10% to 20%, so if money’s one of your key motivators, there’s no shame in that! 

Changing Careers has never felt so good!

Is a career change at 40 worth it? 

It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that my answer is a resounding ‘YES!’.  Is it easy to assume you’re too old or too far up the ladder? Yes. 

But the truth is, at 40 you have a stronger sense of what you want (or at the very least, what you don’t want!) 

The choice is simple really: continue on your current path feeling fulfilled until you retire or seek out something that reignites that spark in you. (I know which I’d choose!) 

All that said, making a big, scary career change at 40 might not be the easiest ride. Worthwhile? Yes. Easy? Probably not. 

Before we dive into your 7-step career change at 40 roadmap, here are a few potential challenges to be aware of so you can set yourself up for a successful career transition. 

Encouragement for your mid-life career change

I see transformations before me every single day. I’ve guided people just like You and supported them in the discomfort of transition. 

2 potential challenges to a mid-life career change 

Other people’s expectations 

I won’t bullsh*t you. Not everyone is going to be pleased about your career change at 40. 

Some people (like colleagues and superiors) might even be pretty p*ssed (off). And family members and friends might openly show their disdain. 

This isn’t a sign for you to stick with the status quo, but a solid reminder that other people’s opinions are none of your business. Double down on your vision and block out the noise

Your own doubts and fears 

It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that fear has made it onto this list. 

It’s the biggest block that holds people back from a career change at 40, but what if I told you those fears aren’t yours to carry? 

Many of the doubts, fears, and insecurities are passed down to us from our ancestors. They are often the result of family systems, and we can choose whether or not we want them to shape our lives. 

(Advice on this incoming!) 

We all have the power to change, but it starts with letting go of what's holding us back. 

So, how can you step forward with confidence and create a job or business you love at 40?

7 expert tips for finding meaningful work at 40

1 Embody the feeling 

Right now, you have a pull to do something different, but you don’t necessarily know what that something different is. 

What you do now though, is how you’d like to feel when you make your career change at 40. 

Hone in on those feelings (What are they? Confident? Calm? Aligned with a deeper purpose?) and really embody them. 

Start acting as if you’ve already made the change. Carry yourself with the confidence, purpose, and fulfilment you’re seeking, and let those feelings guide your decisions and interactions. 

When doubt makes you waiver and fear starts creeping in, close your eyes and sink into those feelings. 

2 Honour this version of yourself 

You aren’t the same person you were in your 20s and 30s. Your priorities, aspirations, and purpose have likely shifted and changed - and that’s okay! 
You might not have all the answers right now as you consider your next move, but it can be liberating to simply acknowledge that and roll with it. 

There’s no shame in being uncertain about what comes next! 

3 Expect to be taken seriously 

What if you didn’t need another course or training? What if all of the incredible experiences, skills, and qualifications that you’ve already earned were enough? 

What if you aren’t broken and you don’t need to be fixed? 

Often, we approach change with a ‘newbie’ mindset, feeling like we need to ask permission to even be in this new space. 

We assume we’re starting from scratch or that we’re too flawed or broken to even begin. 

But at 40, you already have so much to offer.

Instead of focusing on what you think you need to learn, recognise just how much you already bring to the table. 

4 Learn to listen to your own voice 

I’d be willing to bet that there are more than a few people in your life who have disparaging things to say about your career transition. 

Even the people who love you most might express their misgivings. And this can be especially difficult if you’re a bit of a people pleaser. 
Change can make people mighty uncomfortable, and that’s why you’ll often hear negative comments from family, colleagues, and friends. 

Ask yourself: have you made other people’s opinions too big? And your own too small? 

5 Don’t walk this path alone 

When I left my corporate job, I made a brutal error in judgment that you’re probably making too. 

I told myself I had to figure it all out alone.
Suffice to say, I didn’t get very far. I spent months second-guessing my decisions, drowning in self-doubt, and getting stuck in analysis paralysis. 

I learned the hard way that no one creates meaningful change alone. It wasn’t until I sought the help of a coach that I found the confidence and tools I needed to move forward. 

Remember this: Support isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. 

6 Rest

This probably isn’t the advice you’re expecting because so much of our lives are about doing, doing, doing. But resting is a resource! 

And if you’re burned out from a draining career, you’ll struggle to think clearly about your next steps. 

If taking a break is often challenging for you and usually comes with an unwelcome side order of guilt, you’ll need to make a conscious and determined effort to press pause. 

Repeat after me: Productivity does not equal self-worth. 

7 Embrace imperfect progress 

One of the biggest barriers to a successful career change at 40? It’s waiting until you feel 100% ready. 

Here’s what I say: Embrace the messy middle! 

Take small, imperfect steps in the right direction, acknowledge that your progress might not be linear, and learn from the inevitable missteps you make along the way. 

Borrow my motto: Progress has nothing to do with perfection; it’s all about momentum!

Now that you’ve read these top tips do you want to listen to a podcast episode with the same insights but more juicy insights into my unique transition!

I believe in all of you!

I believe in you, even when you doubt yourself and teach you how you too can believe in your path and your journey to create a job or business with more purpose!

Encouragement for your mid-life career change 

There’s a certain thrill that comes when you’re right on the precipice of something, but that thrill can often give way to fear. 

And if you’re considering a career change at 40, you might have had

many moments where staying where you are seemed like a much safer bet. 

But I see transformations before me every single day.

I’ve guided people just like you and supported them in the discomfort of transition. 

They’ve gone on to achieve incredible things: From stuck and burned out in a corporate job

to becoming a thriving solo entrepeneur.

I know for certain that if it’s possible for them, it’s possible for you too.

 Let’s define what’s next! You deserve it

P.S. listen to my Podcast episode - Career Change at 40 - is it to late? Spoiler No, its Your time

Feeling lost in life: What causes it and 5 steps to rediscovering your purpose now!

Feeling lost in life…

Feeling lost in life can be overwhelming, but it can also signal transformation. Discover the root cause and follow these five steps toward clarity.

Feeling lost in life is one of those universal experiences that no one escapes. And yet, when it’s 2am and you’re staring at the ceiling thinking ‘How the f*ck did I get here?!’, it’s the most lonely experience in the world.

It’s that sense of feeling adrift; of not knowing which way to go - and the confusion, indecision, and overwhelm can be paralysing. No more! It’s time to get out of the uncertainty trenches. 

In this post, I’m going to share with you some of the steps I use in my work as an executive systemic coach. And also some of the hard-learned insights that helped me when I was in the sh*t. 

(You can read more about my story here.)

Buckle in, because in this blog, you’ll learn where that sh*tty ‘I’m stuck!’ feeling comes from, why it can actually be a good thing (yes, really!), and five steps that will take you from lost to living a life that’s more aligned. 

Find a way forward - Book a Coaching Session 

Why do I feel so lost? 

If I had a euro for every time I grappled with this question while I was in the thick of it!
Feeling lost in life is a signal that something in your life is no longer working (more on that to come!) and usually you’ll find it’s pegged to one of the following… 

Feeling lost in life: Common reasons: 

• A mismatch between your life and values

  Sometimes, feeling lost is your inner compass telling you that your current path doesn’t align with what truly matters to you. 
  Maybe you’ve been prioritising external validation over personal fulfilment, or you’re stuck in a role that feels disconnected from who you really are. 

• Fear of change 

  I’m not going to sugarcoat it, change can be exhilarating but it can also be bloody scary. Fear of the unknown can keep you stuck in familiar but unfulfilling patterns. 

  It’s that feeling of ‘I know what I want, but I’m too afraid to move’. And yep, you guessed it, that can contribute to feeling lost too. 

• It’s part of being human! 

  Purpose is malleable. We’re led to believe that we should have it all figured out the moment we open our eyes on this earth, but your purpose can grow and shift. You can outgrow parts of it all the time and these moments of confusion are what make you stop, question, and grow. 

  But it can feel pretty isolating and overwhelming before you get to that point. 

  Why feeling lost can be a good thing 

Feeling lost in life can be unpleasant, sure - and believe me, when I was feeling stuck, if someone had told me it was a good thing, I might have punched them in the face.

But often, that ‘Help! I’m lost’ feeling is a wake-up call. That moment when you know something is off is so valuable because it’s a gentle nudge that you are ready for something more. 

(Sometimes it’s a forceful, painful nudge!)  If you never experienced the discomfort of feeling lost, you might never move. You might always stay stuck in the same place. 

You’d never take stock of your life. You’d just keep plodding along. Feeling lost in life is a re-direct, it’s a signal that something in your life needs attention - and I’m going to help you find it… 

Ready to get unstuck?  

5 steps to finding your purpose when you feel lost 

Feeling lost in life doesn’t have to be a forever thing. But you do need to be proactive in overcoming it. (It’s not one of those things that ‘just goes away on its own’.) 

The good news is that with reflection, intention, and manageable action you can have a much clearer idea of what you’d like your life to look like and how to get there. 

Ready to for change? These five steps will get you started… 

1. Don’t get down on yourself 

Feeling lost in life is a funny old thing because sometimes we can see it as a reflection of our self-worth. We can look out at everyone else, wondering how they have all their sh*t together. 

(Spoiler alert: they don’t!) 

Kicking yourself while you’re down isn’t helping. It only adds to your indecision and makes not knowing which way to go feel all the more paralysing. 

So, first things first, acknowledge how you’re feeling and practice self-compassion. Here’s how: 

How to practice self-compassion 

• Be curious, not critical! Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself, ‘What is this feeling trying to tell me?’ Approach your emotions with an open mind, not a critical one.

• Speak to yourself kindly. Look out for negative self-talk. It's the last thing you need. Instead of saying, "I should have figured this out already!," try: "It’s okay to not have all the answers. I’m doing my best, and that’s enough."

• Give yourself permission to pause! Feeling lost in life can send us spiralling into productivity mode. You might assume you can fix this feeling by doing, doing, doing, but you’ll think more clearly if you allow yourself to rest and recharge. 

Focus on the two Cs as you muddle through this transition: curiosity and compassion. Get curious about why you’re feeling stuck and treat yourself with compassion. 

2. Journey back and identify your roles 

Our lives are always leaving us clues about who we are and the path we are supposed to follow. With a little reflection, you can identify the roles you’ve played throughout your life. 

Maybe you’re a caregiver and have always made sure your friends and family are looked after. 

Maybe you’ve always been more of a leader; the kind of person who says ‘I’ll handle it’ and takes the lead on every project. 

Perhaps you’re a problem solver. You’ve always been the one to come up with a creative solution and think outside the box. 

Understanding the roles you naturally play can give you an idea of your purpose in life. 

How to identify your roles

• Reflect on key moments in your life. The pivotal moments in our lives can reveal a lot about who we are. Think about the times you felt most fulfilled and the situations you felt most challenged. What roles did you step into at these times? 

• Ask those who know you best. Sometimes those closest to us can see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Ask close friends and family what roles they’ve noticed you take on. 

Pro tip? Don’t expect this to be an overnight thing. Self-reflection can be a long game - and that’s okay! 

Time for reflection

3. Reflect on your values 

Feeling lost in life is usually a clear sign that you aren’t living in alignment with your values. AKA the things that matter most to you. 

(You might be thinking, ‘Yeah, no sh*t, Sherlock’ right now, but bear with me!) 

Your values are beliefs that guide your decisions and actions. They can be things like honesty, adventure, family, respect, and achievement, to name a few. 

When you’re living out of sync with your values, everything can feel off-kilter, and so, understanding your values and re-aligning with them is key to getting unstuck. 

How to realign with your values

• Identify your core values first. Make a list of 5-10 values that matter most to you. Don’t overthink it. Just jot down what immediately comes to mind. 

• Spot the disconnect. Take a look at your life and consider where you might be neglecting these values. (This step will take a little time. Don’t rush it!) 

• Make small tweaks. Now you know where you’re out of alignment, it’s time to think about what small changes you make to live closer to your values. 

• Turn those tweaks into daily habits. Change isn’t a one-time thing, it’s an everyday thing! Every day, ask yourself how you can live in alignment with your values. 

4. Map your Systems 

Your family. Your workplace. Your social circle… These are all examples of systems. 

The systems in your life affect how you think, feel, and behave and they can have a positive influence or a negative one. 

They can be energising or draining. 

In systemic coaching, the idea is to understand how these various systems affect you, how they might be contributing to your sense of feeling lost or stuck, and how to bring balance to them.
It’s a process that can bring immense clarity. 

How to map your Systems 

• List the systems you are part of. This list could include family, work, friendships, community groups, and even online circles, early education systems are also critical.

• Assess how each system makes you feel. Which systems make you feel drained and unsupported? Which make you feel your most energised and motivated? 

• Consider your role within these systems. Sometimes, feeling lost in life stems from the roles we unconsciously take on in our systems. So ask yourself: who am I in each of these settings? And how does that affect me? 

• Shift unhealthy dynamics. It’s time to make changes where possible. Yep, this might mean having uncomfortable conversations and setting firmer boundaries. 

5. Focus on micro movements 

When you’re feeling burnt out from overwhelm and indecision, starting fresh can be a tall order. You might want to move but you’re too bloody tired. 

This is where micro movements (i.e taking tiny, strategic steps in the right direction) can be incredibly helpful. 
Systemic coaching encourages small, intentional actions that build momentum without depleting your already-spent reserves. 

The Power of Systems

Reflect on all systems you have been in.

What patterns or what role do you take in many of the?

Here’s how to get started… 

• Identify one small step. It could be something as seemingly tiny as researching a business idea or reaching out to someone in your network. 

• Celebrate your progress. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a win. So make sure you see it that way. If you’re a visual person consider charting your progress. 

• Lean into support. Resilience doesn’t mean going it alone! Lean on the people who champion and inspire you most as you make these changes - and distance yourself from those who don’t. 

Embracing the shift…

I know just how sh*tty feeling lost in life is - because I’ve been there! But I also know there is a way through. 

You’re tired, you’re worn down, but I know from experience that it can be the start of a powerful transformation. 
The emotions you’re feeling right now are a sign that something needs to shift. So, take a deep breath and remember that every step, no matter how small, is a step toward finding your way. 

Ready to turn feeling lost into feeling fulfilled? Click here to get started today